Dear Bride and Groom

Dear Bride and Groom,

I do hope you are a couple the following does not apply to but, given the number of wedding shenanigans I have recently heard about ‘round the traps, this is a blanket missive to all and sundry.

I want to remind you what a wedding is all about: a day you and your loved ones come together to celebrate the start of your marriage union.

Generally, said loved ones will wish you a long and happy life together.

Ooh, sparkles!

Ooh, sparkles!

However, what they do NOT wish for is:

  • to be invited to the ceremony but not the reception. 
    If they’re good enough for the formal part, they’re good enough to attend the fun part.
  • to wait hours between the ceremony and the reception.
    At least set up a bar tab while you get photographs – a wedding’s more fun when half the guests are tipsy before the speeches start, anyway.
  • the need to take out a second mortgage to attend not only your nuptials, but the 17 events before and after the Big Day.
    Don’t assume your guests are flush with cash or, even if they are, that they want to invest significant finances in numerous and lengthy lead-up events.
  • a requirement to take annual leave to attend.
    If you can’t afford to have a wedding on a Saturday or Sunday – do your guests a favour and save a bit longer.
  • being asked to be a member of the bridal party and having to pay for their expensive suit or dress/flowers/hair/make-up
    At least offer to contribute something to their outlay. Remember: your bridesmaids and groomsmen are doing you a favour; not the other way around.
  • paying (and being asked to transfer funds beforehand) to attend a wedding-related event.
    Seriously. Not even kidding, but I wish I was. I know of a wedding where the guests were asked to pay to attend the engagement party. Um, that’s a big fat no-no, folks.
  • an ATM machine hired in case they forgot to bring money for the wishing well.
    Sweet baby cheeses. A wishing well is right up there with gift registries in my mind, so I’ll say no more. (Kel from The Naughty Corner of Social Niceties alerted me to this little pearler.)

Thankfully, my friends have been considerate brides and grooms with tasteful weddings with their nearest and dearest. I’m not biased; just lucky to have pals who realise what’s cool and what’s not regarding wedding etiquette.

Exhibit A: POW pals who had a small and intimate Italian wedding. (And then had to photoshop the swimmers out of this shot!)

Exhibit A: POW pals who had a small and intimate Italian wedding. (And then had to photoshop the swimmers out of this shot!)

In closing, dear bride/groom reader, I hope none of the above applies to you. If they do, may this post offer a vitual kick up the jacksy and request a cease-and-desist motion for potential overkill on guests’ time, money, and generosity.

Stay classy, peeps.

Over and out.

Have you had any frustrating experiences as a guest? Have a whinge. Go on, you know you want to!

P.S. Wanna get social? Follow PoW on Facebook and Twitter.

 

15 thoughts on “Dear Bride and Groom

  1. Mmm … where to begin? … How about not inviting family members children, when every available babysitter you have is also invited to said wedding, or invitations to overseas weddings … do they really want you to come, or are they just asking to be polite??? Don’t get me started on bridal gift registries!

  2. Sorry Sarah – I’m calling BS on your annual leave point. We got married on a Friday and I’m unapologetic about it. There weren’t any venues available on the weekend for 12+ months and we couldn’t wait to start our married lives together. :)

    • I think ‘BS’ is a bit harsh. Great you wanted to get married ASAP – love that – but my point is some guests don’t necessarily enjoy having to dip into their limited annual leave to attend others’ events for their convenience.

    • Sorry if the ‘BS’ offended, it was intended light-heartedly. My comment was intended to avoid those who had non-weekend nuptials being tarred with the ‘cheap’ brush.

  3. Agreed – many couples are extremely self centred about this one particular event in there lives and elevate it to a status of far more importance than it deserves. Yes – its an important day but it is still only one day. I know of a couple who made everybody haul arse up to Hayman Island for the nuptuals of the decade only to split 2 years later.

  4. Brides being late annoys me too! Five or ten minutes is ok but one of my friends made us wait for 45 minutes in 38 degree heat. Outdoor weddings don’t thrill me at all now.

  5. My sister-in-law and her husband asked everyone to pay for their own meals. At $90 a head. The food was terrible and I’m pretty sure we covered our own bar tab too. Then they split 2 years later. Lesson learned for my wedding. I had a costume party for my engagement party and my husband and I came as bride and groom and did a surprise wedding. That way no one had to shell out for expensive presents and we had a great party with awesome photos, and my mother and aunts (happily) did all the cooking.

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